Toddled Together March 20 - 30,2006 Kids move in one room; Tom goes to pre-school once a week; Lisa sits upright and discovers the vertical world

	We have rotated Tom's be by ninety degrees...

	... and we filled the rest of the space with Lizzy's crib.

Obviously I must have been very nice. I had thought that my birthday would be finished off by that notebook computer, but I received some books and candy on top of it. Tom, in fact, did not know about my birthday, but still he prepared me a nice surprise. On that day, something broke in him and it began to look as if he could gradually have mercy on the pre-school. Instead of crying desperately, he started to take interest in toys and other kids -- which took away a big lump from my throat.

I may be a bear mother. I don't consider pregnancy the most beautiful time in a woman's life, and if it were possible to sleep through it, I would certainly do so. I harbor the same sentiment to the time immediately after birth. Not that my children would not cause me to totally flip out, but if I COULD SLEEP while flipping out, it would be surely much better. Nursing has very attenuating effects on my person. The bottom line -- during last three years (yes, it's been this long already since I got pregnant with Tom), I lived only about half year in a mental state in which I recognize myself. The rest is shrouded in a bland haze, and its memory consists of blurry nightmares about washing dirty mouths and soiled butts.

Now I'm either getting a spring fever, or the bear cubs rolled out of the winter burrow -- in this, only time will tell. Either way, I suddenly feel like having a few changes. We have moved into our house four years ago. I was not sure then, what arrangement to choose, but I settled with my best intentions -- however, years have shown how mistaken were some of my ideas. Take, for example, a table that I wished to have in our garage, where I would quickly fold the minimum necessary laundry right out of the dryer, which would make me avoid laundry baskets living semi-permanently in our living room. An elegant solution, is it not? Yet, such a concept is incompatible with two kids. Not that they would object being released into the garage -- to the contrary, Tom would cackle with glee -- but there are simply too many sharp and inedible objects there. And leaving them on their own in the house? Well, they would certainly find some entertainment. Tom has passed the intelligence level of an average chimp and discovered that by piling furniture parts on each other, one can reach higher and higher still. Lisa does not compose furniture yet, but she shares her brother's passion for heights -- every so often we must rescue her from somewhere high. She can, for example, climb atop a music box, dangling hands and feet from each edge and positioning herself like a kind-of decorative throw, all this while screaming at full blast -- so now she's up there and does not know how to get back down. In a similar fashion, she attempts to climb on all higher objects -- while merrily ignoring their instability or danger within (chairs, Tom's trucks, our shelves etc.). I simply cannot leave children alone, and thus my idea about folding laundry on a table (in the garage) ended up under a pile of stuff (in the garage).

	While taking pictures of his re-arranged room, Tom insisted on photographing his favorite stuffed animals.

	A stress test for the crib

I have been planning a bit, but it resembles a bureaucratic run-around -- to be able to achieve one, I must first secure several other items. I shall keep you informed as it happens. Currently, we succeeded in moving Lisa into Tom's room. We have been expecting granny's arrival and so we were bound to make some more room for her. So far, Tom's room was always a bit improvised, I did not fancy having it outfitted much, since I knew that in a few months everything was going to be different. Tommy enjoyed the moving part -- walked importantly around with a tape measure, got under our feet all the time, and demanded that Lisa, too, be present during the event. In the end he had to personally test Lizzy's crib, which fared surprisingly well under joined attack of our two gremlins.

I had a bad premonition on the eve of their first night together. I counted with Lisa going to scream at five a.m., which would wake Tom up, and subsequently get us all out at the crack of a dawn. I was wrong. Lizzy started to howl at half past two. Tommy roused up only to mentor her with a coarse voice, and slept on. Alas, Lisa was so excited by her new surroundings that it took me till almost four a.m. to quiet her down. At five Tom began to yelp out in his sleep, which WOKE UP LISA, who took advantage of the situation to demand her morning milk. At seven thirty I felt like after a rowdy party -- except, I had no rowdy memories to compensate for my splitting headache and burning eyes.

	Lisa, like every proper climber, does not use her knees to conquer heights

	Lizzy gets occasionally into a trap from which she knows no escape

To be honest -- it has not been easy at all for me to get boozed up lately. Even if I could -- accidentally -- separate from my family, I can't even drink properly. Those three years of abstinence caused me an intolerance to alcohol. A few gulps is enough and right away my face is full of red spots, it itches like hell, goes away in about an hour. Nevertheless it's been unpleasant and I look like an idiot. I shall have to exercise some more.

Our kids' second night together had passed with some intermittent groaning from Lisa -- and then our offspring woke us up at quarter past seven with giggling. We took it as a good omen and tried to keep our eyes shut for a bit longer, but Tommy's excited "Come on, Lisa, come on" got us up again soon. We expected to find Tom dragging Lisa out of her crib, but it was quite the other way around. Tom had pushed a stool up against the crib, and climbed in to Lisa. The next night, Lisa cried at two, but she let me quiet her down easily. Tommy watched it with open eyes, but said nothing, so he got a kiss and we all continued to sleep till seven, when Lisa woke Tom, who climbed in her crib again to mess with a mobile. We hope that in this regard, we can remain optimistic and that our kids will learn to share their room without disturbing each other.

Tommy's pre-school has fared a little better lately. I purchased him a lunch box in the shape of a truck. Tommy has always been a pragmatic personality and food is important for him. In the morning, when we tell him that he is going to go to school again, he replies with a strict NO, but then he rushes to help us pack his lunch. In the school, he keeps holding onto his lunchbox -- apparently his food luggage affords him a similar sense of safety, like a favorite toy or a blanket does for others. Here, again, we succumb to a mild optimism and hope that it get better over time.

	Sibling cooperation - Tom has opened our dishwasher for Lisa, requiring her to use her hand as a gate for his car

	Lisa follows Tom everywhere and Tom appears to be flattered, being admired and endeared

Lizzy has definitely outgrown her little car seat. I was somewhat worried, for I had the impression that Lisa could not sit up yet, which would generally made the car seat shell indispensable (e.g. you can't put a baby, who's collapsing into a shapeless heap, into a shopping cart seat). A closer inspection has revealed that Lisa has been holding out things on us. Yes, she would not sit up to play with toys, but this she does only because while sitting she becomes less nimble and mobile. She adapts everything to being able to run after her older brother in a split-second. When properly engaged -- with food, or watching all those shelves at a store -- she can sit up without a problem.

It is hard to believe how much is Lisa fascinated by her older brother. When our neighbor and her K.C. came to visit, Lisa absolutely ignored our intentions to keep her and (a five-months-old) Julianna in the living room, and she rushed with all her belly-sliding might after the two boys, afraid to miss any of the fun. Eventually I gave up my attempts to return my daughter to baby entertainment and I let her do what she wanted. I think she enjoyed herself -- and did not get hurt a single bit. I just blocked their door so that they could not slam it shut on her, and the rest worked itself out. It seems that Tom did not get to the phase yet when younger siblings (and especially sisters) get frowned upon, and he has been quite respectful of Lisa.

I think that in the last few months, I have received an answer to my question, whether we have caused Tommy an injustice through getting him a sibling. Surely he has been receiving a bit less of our attention, but he gained an equal and devoted buddy for his games and ideas -- something we would never completely be ourselves. It has been taxing to have "two-under-two", and I would not recommend it to weaker individuals; it appears, however, that for the little kids, a smaller difference in age is wonderful.

Copyright © 2006 by Carol & Sid Paral. All rights reserved.