In bed with Hippo

In bed with Hippo
November 12 - 27, 2002
... is not a simple thing



	Our new bed consists of three parts - a frame with wheels, base, and mattress

It's not easy with Hippo in bed, and if that bed is an American one, it is not easy at all. Comparing with Europe, where practically every sleeping arrangement has a different size, American mattresses come in three standard grades (full or double, queen, and king), plus two extremes (a twin bed is so narrow that it resembles a prison bench; California king is longer that all the other ones). Which means you must simply match one of five possible sheet sizes, but then again one cannot convert it between Europe and USA. And on top of it, I don't find most American mattresses comfortable.



	Krens

Most people in USA sleep "between sheets" -- using a system where you layer yourself between two thin squares of cloth, with a comforter laid on top of that, and if you're really cold in winter, you can top if off by a decorative throw. This arrangement with rarely washed, yet unprotected comforter invokes impressions of uncleanliness in me (especially in hotels), and besides that I get very cold while using it. Pretty throws give me goosebumps just by thinking of them. Fortunately, some time before I moved to America, Sid had to deal with local customs and took the time to figure out, how to name, locate and buy what we want and like: a duvet cover. Joy.

A full American bed is a set of matching pieces, and you can combine or skip them. It starts with a frame -- either on wheels, or with feet. You can (but don't have to) attach head and foot boards to it, and perhaps side boards as well. Base sits atop the frame -- nothing complicated, just a solid box, which may have no other purpose than elevating the final top surface, but can contain a first layer of springs (and may be called springbox). Matters goes on top of the base. Given a very small possible number of standard bed sizes, all components are easily interchangeable and do not need to come from the same supplier. Once the set is complete, it looks like a out of a fairy tale of Princess and the Pea -- if you stand up, it reaches almost to your hips. I must say, though, that I find such a high bed much more comfortable to get in and out of, than a classical couch.



	Sid talks to our turkey

A mattress is the troubling point. During our traveling and overnighting, we usually came upon "trampolines". Given Hippo's weight, sleeping on such a springboard becomes a circus performance, during which every Sid's turns ejects me towards the ceiling and I wake up in the morning with advanced symptoms of sea sickness. This evokes in me a lot of questions regarding practical details of American sex life. Or could it be that hotels prefer such mattresses exactly because they instigate chastity?



	Here it comes...

Either way, the winner in our home used to be a futon (a thick block of fibrous material of Japanese origin), laying directly on the floor. It worked more or less for two years, in spite the fact that we each managed to impress in it a shallow tub (Hippo made a less shallow one). It would have probably worked on for some time, if I did not collapse on one Sunday at seven a.m. as my leg refused to support me. My back had been hurting me a bit for a while, so I self-diagnosed a slipped disc and began to wail. Sid jumped out of our bed and grumbled that it cannot go this way and that we are going for a bed.

I immediately protested against an American (understand: spring based) mattress. Sid countered that he found a great air bed called Sleep Number, and right then I almost passed out, for he mentioned the price, which sounded more appropriate for a (used) car than a sum paid for a sleeping device. However, a closer scrutiny revealed that it's rather impossible to obtain a decidedly cheaper bed, so we went.



	The master of the house pulls an onion out of his turkey

At a store, a salesman urged us to lay down on a sample bed. Before I managed to feel fully inappropriate, laying on a mattress in such a public place, he went away, while our mattress began to TALK to us, giving us instructions on how to inflate it; it did not wait for us to follow them and began to inflate under us. It was better than Disneyland! The mattress uses compressed air, and the bed is equipped with a small electric pump (did you really think we would blow it up breathing into it?) and two digital control pods. Sid chose a bed that has two separate chambers, and each sleeper can adjust his or her comfortable firmness. We agreed to buy the whole set, including a frame and a base; we wanted the head board, but the currently fashionable style consists of pseudo-brass gratings with hand crafted cones on feet. Imagine a cross breed between an old hospital bed and a cubist idea of rococo. We don't need to have everything, do we?



	Madeleine is frowning at Šmudla (in lower right corner)

We paid for the bed and went on to get bedding. Our futon is, you know, queen size, and that means Hippo's feet stick out when he sleeps; we bought our new bed in California king size. Hence all our sheets were suddenly a foot shorter on each side. Then we could only return home and wait. Soon came two strong men; it took them twenty minutes to move our bed in and assemble it; they asked if we wanted the old one removed (we did not, may our visitors enjoy our shallow futon tubs), and they were gone. We spent the next thirty minutes in bed. No passions, we only pumped it up and deflated it again, each on his and her side. What a machine!

I must say that I fell in love with our new bed since day one. My back hurts less and less, and I sleep all night now. Sid keeps grumbling and still keeps experimenting with his firmness setting (give a guy a gizmo toy and he leaves you alone for a few weeks).



	Kitchen during Thanksgiving is the most important room in the house

Overshadowed by our bed games, Thanksgiving had arrived quickly. It was my third one here in America -- and it's becoming a deja vu - a visit at Kren's, waiting for the turkey, mastering a roasted turkey out of the oven and onto our plates, lots of wine. This holiday smells of excellent food out of a hot oven and I love it. Its a training for Christmas, yet without crazy Santa Clauses, without red-nosed reindeers, and without gift shopping madness. Food is the central theme of the day, instead of being prelude to another climax (= presents). And so one can relax sitting around a table, chat, eat, drink and enjoy our good life.

Thanksgiving is a moveable feast, defined as fourth Thursday in November, and most companies give a paid day off on Friday as well. I admit I was looking forward to this vacation since September. The feeling of four day's worth of release from working routine tastes like a maraschino cherry after all that wonderful food.

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