Mother-In-Law Blitz July 1 - 5, 2001 Operation Blitzschwiegermutter, touristic itch, and national holiday holdup.

	Sid was lucky to be able to spend part of his vacation with three beautiful ladies

	My husband is capable of talking his (an anybody else's) head off -- even with his mother-in-law ...

Together with Sid, we share two mothers, or mothers-in-law, respectively, not mentioning other relatives. One mother(-in-law) lives in Prague, the other in Brno. While planning our European visit, we soon found that a) both wanted to enjoy our presence much, and b) we would have to plan for complicated logistics between Prague and Brno, or (!!!!!) come up with something better.

Last thing we wanted to do was staying in the cities, sitting around in apartments, sipping coffee (Sid does not even drink it), and yapping. That's why we eventually conceived Operation Blitzschwiegermutter. We would drive both mothers half way = i.e. to our family country home, and we would see what this experiment brings. Plus, after several months during which Sid was showing me around America, it was time to present him with places I like.

Take Jindřichův Hradec -- it certainly deserves several visits -- just the castle has three guided tours, yet taking them all in one day borders on masochism. I chose one route (being the only one who has already been there) through the oldest, medieval section with Black Kitchen. I don't know how they did in 13th century, but we were sure very cold in there. After a rather flat presentation by a guide, we warmed ourselves up by climbing up the stairs to a castle tower - I definitely recommend it, as the view is spectacular. Then we tried to sneak in with another group into roundel - a circular music pavilion. Last year, we succeeded with Sid this way, but this year's guide could not be swayed. It's too bad that you can see the roundel only after having paid and endured another boring tour; I consider it one of the most interesting buildings in Jindřichův Hradec. There was just no way for us to waste another hour. We ate lunch right within the castle -- a decent choice of meals and reasonable pricing were a pleasant surprise. I only wonder how much they must save on gas and power: portions they have brought us were not even lukewarm.

	Our mothers on a tower in Jindřichův Hradec

We still had our "touristic" itch, and having found out that neither Sid nor his mother had visited Červená Lhota before, we were set. Sun came out right as we arrived to the castle -- we rented a boat and Sid, not knowing that my mom is a rowing competitor, rushed to the oars. It could be worse; a mother-in-law could interfere with more important things than how to propel us over a lake .

	Jindřichův Hradec

Not to lose momentum, our next attraction was supposed to be a hike to Roštejn, but weather made us regroup under the safe cover of our car's roof, and consider only small diversions (duration of sunshine at Červena Lhota exactly matched our time out on the lake). Slavonice is a picturesque, medieval town similar to the famous Telč, although being less famous may be a reason why understanding the basics of elementary hospitality did not arrive here yet.

There a house not far from the town square, which used to be a secret evangelic place of worship, now owned by an "Italian". The Italian is really from Italy (I never leaned his name) and since about eight years ago, when I experienced his guided tour through the house for the first time, along with my French friends, he learned to speak Czech very well. I can only recommend this attraction -- besides ancient wall paintings, they show a collection of antique household tools -- a spinning wheel, a churn, a grater, a press, a washboard, a mangle, a centrifuge for honey, all carefully maintained and tagged.

A necessary equipment of a medieval town, the town tower, stands nearby -- you pay the entrance ticket all the way on top, if you make it (172 steps). Then they let you go out on a gallery from which you can see in all four directions. The tower itself dates back to 16th century (1503-1549), and contains a belfry from 1750 with seven bells, that you get to climb through. Besides the great lookout, you can buy postcards and other souvenirs there from - at least in our case - a nice girl at the register.

	Boating on a lake

That was the end, however, of pleasant impressions at Slavonice. Public restrooms were locked shut, no explanation given. We headed for a pastry shop, to have some coffee and ice cream, hoping for a natural relief there. Their bathroom was unavailable, please use the public ones over there. What, they're closed? The lady who runs them "must have gone out for lunch", then. Such attitude brought us right back to fifteen years ago -- a just punishment for everyone cocky enough to travel instead of watching propaganda on the tube at home.

	Červená Lhota

We omitted the last positive part of Slavonice, a ceramics arts center at nearby town of Maříž -- there's even a shop where you can paint your own mug -- and we went for the castle Landštejn.

We found bathrooms there, and besides, it is my favorite ruin. You can pay at the entrance and they let you loose -- where you go, what sign you read, what you leave out, it's all up to you. No stuttering, whispering guides, ranting off their monotonous data. Landštejn used to be an important borderline burg (mentioned since 13th century), which corresponds to the extent of the ruins. A donjon is still standing, and accessible, offering a pretty view to surrounding forests.

Our journeys with our mothers revealed a problem - the diesel-powered Fabia with four passengers refused to cooperate, and depressing the gas pedal caused low hum, but no change in the car's speed. That proved to be quite frustrating, if you're dragging uphill behind a large truck. Such weakness endangered the success of our plan to drive through the Alps -- would Fabia even manage to go up any substantial hill?

	A view to Slavonice from a town tower

Overall, our plans became increasingly shaky - having moved back to Brno from the country house, we washed two loads of laundry (well, our mom did), expecting to pack it all up the next day and leave. In the morning, we could either leave without the laundry, or with it, but all wet. Calling the only fast laundry business in Brno that we could find, we learned that they had a dryer there, but they were closed (a national holiday fell on that day, of course). The last option was to wait another day.

They had no holiday in Vienna, fortunately, and so we filled the day with this alternative program: exchange Fabia at the car rental place for a Golf, and visit Pepe and Sina. Seeing only a few days old baby and half-hysterical mother with heavy bags under her eyes and baby vomit all over her shoulders is supposed to work as a strong contraceptive. And I have not seen my friend Pepe for about a year.

	Landštejn

A clerk at ARAC was not too cooperative about a change of a car, demanding a surcharge for a Golf TDI, but Sid would easily prove to him that he got a regular Golf for the same price last year. He told us that if we bring a VW Golf to Czech Republic, it will get stolen for sure (a record is within three hours from leaving the rental agency), but they eventually gave us one.

If you think that parking in Prague is a nightmare, go to Vienna -- Pepe lives in one of many blocks that are a maze of one way streets, and I forgot how to do a tight parallel parking after nine months in America. We were lucky, as many locals were gone to work with their cars, and we found an easy spot.

There was no contraceptive effect from this visit, though. They all appeared very at ease -- we missed the three year old Sara, who was in a daycare, but Philipp came early from work (I sure imagine just to see us), Sina was very nice and slept quietly for first two hours, ate, and then simply laid in Pepe's lap and watched us and contemplated our wise dialogue. No vomit stains, no psychotic expressions (except when being photographed); Pepe kept total control of common hospitality (Hippo got hungry and you can bet that it puts a heavy demand on a household!). I just don't get why somebody always tries to complain that you have no time while taking care of a baby . It seems to be so easy!!!!

Eventually we had to go back, to get our - hopefully by now dry - laundry. I wonder how will Austrian customs account for our incessant crossing of the border, up and down (this was my trip #5). Sid wanted to show me Cornštejn by Vranov Reservoir, but again we failed to remember the national holiday. The lake as well as the ruin were overflowing with people, reminding me of Wenceslaus Square during a rush hour. Only a small distance away, we had all the peace we wanted -- and all the cherries we could eat. Narrow roads winding through Southern Moravia countryside are flanked with cherry trees, at this time of year ripe and ready. As we were.

Finally, one quiz question for graphics nitpickers (and anybody else, too). You may have noticed that the picture of Jindřichův Hradec seems a little ... odd. Can you tell us why???

Copyright © 2001-2005 by Carol & Sid Paral. All rights reserved.